Live simply, travel lightly, love passionately & don't forget to breathe

This page contains nudity (R – Restricted 17+)

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“The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks,
the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice.
Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable;
they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

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INFINITY

In stillness we sense our soul
In silence we hear answers
In breath we come alive
In death we get back to stillness…

~

7/8/2015 © Elena Levon

HAVANA

Thick air is wrapping me whole in its web of the night.

The tingly rum has danced on my melting tongue.

A strong hand, pulled me even closer to the yin and yang.

*

Cutting through my iron ropes, it traveled through waves of the past.

It tickled my savage nerves, making me helpless, weightless and blind.

Then finally released me into the abyss without the mask.

*

Dancing on razors,

Flying through time.

Breathless, raw, naked and wild.

~

6/19/2015 © Elena Levon

THE ESCAPE

I have tried with passion to make you believe you meant nothing for me,

I wanted to hurt you for feeling the things I feel, I wanted you to suffer and kneel.

I poured the poison in your glass and poured some wine in mine,

You looked through my eyes and made me forget my past and my guilt.

***
“I see you, you know? You can never hide.”

How dare he read my mind! You will regret this soon. I want you to die!

He has consumed me whole and robbed me of my pride.

I want to destroy his sleep, his mind, to starve him and make him blind.

***
After his glass is empty, I will finally be free without regret.

Escape this torture, rescue back my heart that was trapped in his net.

You have made me loose my mind, I’m sleep deprived, exhausted and covered in sweat.

Still don’t know what’s best; arsenic in your blood or a bullet in your head.

***
You will suffer greatly and I will laugh through tears.

I will kiss your hands, whisper in your ear and bite your neck.

No man is allowed to travel through me without my consent.

You have no right! Drink up and don’t beg!

***
“I want you to know, that you have the power to kill”

I will not let him chain me to himself, but tell me I’m still free.

One last look, one last kiss, his fiery eyes I will always miss.

His lions soul, his scent and the madness of his kiss.

***
“Look at that sunset, it reminds me of us, it burns like fire through all living souls so fast”

“Yes, it leaves the scars on it’s prey, does it again and again, each and every day”

“Let’s raise our glasses and drink to our own private hell and dismay”

I knew all along, I will never be his. But I have to be brave!

No! Why should I live, if he will no longer be here?

***
I picked up his glass, took his poison and sadness filled my eyes with tears.

“What have you done?!! How will I ever be able to go on?”

“When you are ready to leave, you know where to find me…”

“I will be running with wild horses, happy, ageless and free”

***
“My love, for you,

I would drink all the poison,

Catch all the bullets, burn alive

And die silently without a fear.”

~
06/29/2015 © Elena Levon

DANCING WITH THE DEVIL

All my life I chased the freedom. I left behind all faith In God.

I was hungry for a different Kingdom, with a different kind of Lord.

I was falling deep within the chaos and did not want to return.

Bruised and scarred, but never concurred I stood fearlessly while being burned.

***

We both have sinned, lied, destroyed and cheated.

We laughed at fate and played with fire.

We stomped on hearts without shame and reason.

We burned the pages of our youth and ran on broken glass, undefeated.

***

One glance, one dance, one kiss, then Silence…

Who are you? Why now? Why me?

We knew the answer, we knew each others same scent of violence.

You and Me and the Devil makes three…

***

Both defeated, both are punished.

We are losing balance, our minds and freedom.

Our fear, pain, anger and bruises, all have vanished.

We have finally found our very own Garden of Eden.

***

I no longer need the freedom. I no longer need a name.

I no longer search for Kingdom and no longer feel the shame.

I don’t need to choose religion, I don’t need to play that game.

Now we only have the hunger and each other as our prey.

***

I surrendered to our chaos, to the color of our souls.

I no longer need the poison, I no longer laugh at fate.

I’m forever lost inside Inferno, there, I found myself and youth.

***

Have you ever danced with Devil?

Have you ever fallen through?

***

I have….

There,

I found myself…

In You.

01/19/2015 © Elena Levon

BEHIND THE MASK

Rage, fear, emptiness and yearning. Yearning for what might be, but never will.

Yearning to escape the lie and to take off the mask.

To forget and disappear into our lust.

To feel, to learn, to forget and remember. The madness, the truth and the madness in truth.

*

Like a trapped wild beast, from one corner to the other, panting, raging, scratching and slowly dying with each kiss.

My solo swan song is tearing through sheets, clothes and air,

Running through darkness, with unforgiving shadows from my past, into despair.

Bewilderment and agony, hungrily smashed into our private ecstasy.

*

Private yet publicly laughed at, hidden, yet exposed to the core.

Sipping shame and devouring lust. Ashamed yet proud. Yes, shamelessly and fearlessly proud.

Proud of my wickedness and chaos. I’d rather die in ugly truth, than live chained to their lies.

Choices, chances, empty glances. Life is just an illusion? Yes, I know. it is…

*

But how do you travel from illusion into a dream? You, know, The Dream… Which road do you take?

I’d rather dream and never wake up, with eyes wide open or shut, while raising my cup full of blood.

What does Lucifer yearn for? Same things as me?

Through the drunken sleepless fog, I will try to remember and forget, forget that I have to wake up.

*

Forget that it’s only a dream, forget that none of this is real.

Succumbing to debauchery and raging against deceit. I invite you to my fearlessly naked Ball,

A man or a woman, come here and forget all that is wrong.

Forget your fears, let go of your pride and prejudice, which kills. Ravish me, burn with me, tango me, stare at me, scratch me and bruise me…

*

Don’t be afraid, remember – it’s only a dream…

But when you wake up, the truth might make you so ill, that it will drag you all the way up on a cross and kill.

I will cry for you and us, while driving the last nail into your heart. Don’t blame me,

Blame the dream and the yearning for it or me. Don’t be surprised… I told you; I’m driven by instincts.

*

Never by morals, sweet lies or gimmicks.. But by raw, primal, unattainable music within the dream.

You saw me without a mask, or maybe you just saw yet another one underneath the last…

The Ball is over, cut yourself away, slip on your mask, travel far,

Far away from me, dive back into the illusion and pretend that you’re free.

*

What do you yearn for, My Dear Mask? Same things as me?

I yearn for truth, for choking truth, within one moment.

I yearn to stand fearlessly naked, lost, vulnerable, with or without the hatred.

I yearn for our dream, in which you make love to my soul and take me far beyond the extreme.

*

I yearn to take off your Mask…

And for you, to just rip off mine

And forget…

at last…

*

06/1/2014 © Elena Levon

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ORIGINAL SIN

“Was it worth it?” they will later ask.

***

Every moment spent near your breath, your truth, love, even cruelty of your game.

Every second, every tear and aching sound that took it all away.

Every kiss, every curse, every sleepless night and endless day.

Every lie and laugh that will soon fade away.

Every silence and cry of my soul.

Every glance and my scent that you stole.

Every thirsty dream, painfully awakened scream and our original sin.

Every joyful hello and proud goodbye.

  ***

I lost myself, most of my pride and all of my fear.

Our lustful song is all I can hear.

You are all that I crave, even if it’s just in a cave, clothed in a mask of a slave.

I can only be fed by this sin, my hunger and thirst only you have the strength to save.

***

To know you exist is more than enough.

I don’t even mind mixing insanity with our blood and laugh.

If you want, you can even be rough.

You can have my mind, body, soul and heart to be put in a cuff.

***

“Was it worth it ?” …

It was

Still is

and

Always will be…

12/16/2013 © Elena Levon

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LESSONS PEOPLE TAUGHT ME

If you want to hear the truth ~ Listen to your heart.

If you want to fly ~ Don’t be afraid to break your wings.

If you want to forgive ~ Ask for forgiveness.

If you want to be a good dancer ~ Dance with your soul, not your feet.

If you want to get to the top ~ You have to touch the bottom.

If you want to be free ~ Don’t lie to yourself.

If you want to heal ~ Cry, Laugh, Breathe & Let go.

If you want to be rich ~ Help someone.

If you want to find You ~ Get lost.

If you want to learn ~ Change.

If you want to feel loved ~ Love.

If you want to be happy ~ Be.

02/07/2013 © Elena Levon

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LOST ETERNITY

Time has stopped.
Crowds, chaos, voices.
So many faces,
So many echo’s
So many places.
Except one face…
Yours…
Except one echo…
Ours…
Except one place…
Eternity.
Among the crowds we are lost,
But my eyes still hope to see yours.
I search for your face in so many masks…
But they just laugh at us.
They laugh, because I will never belong to you…
I never do.
If we shall never find eternity,
I ask for only 3 things;
One Face – Yours
One Echo – Ours
One Place – Now…

12/23/2012 © Elena Levon

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MOROCCAN NIGHT

A cat-like shadow emerges from darkness.

Slowly making her way to the feast…

Her gracefully independent solo walk is a seductive dance, of an untamed beast.

Wrapped in mystery and broken promises,

She’s leaving behind intoxicating cloud of exotic scents…

Vanille, sandalwood, spices, tobacco, lace and incense.

She hears men trying to get her attention…

Smiles,

But doesn’t look in their direction.

She’s being led by the invisible string of the night…

The only thing she sees,

Is a lustful, decadent and chaotic light…

© Elena Levon 12/12/12

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TWISTED INSANITY

With every passing second I’m trying to survive in this burning web of memories..
I ran away because it was too much..
Too much, yet not enough, never enough.. it will never be enough.

How can I live .. how will I breathe in this?

How can anyone survive through this?
Dancing through jealousy and lust, diving into love and hate, while crying our way through pain and pleasure..

Take it back… I beg you, take it all back..  just let me go…

Erase, unlive, forget!

Let’s just forget, I know you can, you have to try … I did – I forgot everything!

It set me free, you see;

I forgot us in Yesterday ~

Our breath, that is carried on by the unbearable heat,
Your scent and touch on my skin,
Your impatient and strong hand touching my lace,
Fighting through fearless chaos into some peaceful place.

I forgot us in Today ~

Twisting my whole being in knots just with your words,
I forgot how you live under my skin;
Somewhere between my veins, soul, heart and sin..

And I forgot us in Tomorrow ~

Giving into truth with passion… Drinking the poison and giving into sin..
Getting drunk, but not from the gin.

We free fall from all acceptable laws and forms,
Tasting the sweet and sour, swirling on devil’s horns.

Our love is unacceptable and rude,
It’s kinky, volatile, hanging on a string of insanity and fearlessly nude.

I forgot!

I am now free!

I’m not..

I’m yours…

© Elena Levon.  November 2011

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OUR TIMELESS PASSION

Always… Like fire, your soul in my veins and mine in yours– it’s you and me inside our burning desire. Our thoughts and breath are like an orchestrated unison which tears this cruel web of night apart– it’s like an arrow, rushing straight into the depth of my heart. Touch, love, lust.

We are breaking the rules and reaching new heights. It has captured me whole within its red ocean of lights. I can taste this sweet torment of uncontrollable yearning for you. Believe me, I have tried so hard to fight and rebel, but then I gave in to this unbearable warmth, because it’s so true.

Our melted bodies and souls got twisted in a tango of scent which flows from one shade to the next, making me unconscious, free and more like myself. We boldly dance with our naked truth, searching beyond the comfort, far from lies, diving together into timeless youth.

I feel free with you…Always…We can be weak, silent or reckless. I’m not afraid anymore to sin or drown in this endless search for more. At that moment when time stood still, when tears of pleasure cascaded from my cheek, once our heat had reached the highest peak and when our sounds created a song…that’s when our burning passion was born.

It lives within me now, waiting for you. Touch, love, lust. Your whisper alone is like a taboo! It’s a fragile and tense string between me and you…

Always…

© Elena Levon, July 2009

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A FROZEN MOMENT

I feel so light, almost suspended in air, like a frozen ball of sugar so sweet and tempting. I feel alive…

yes, for the first time in months I feel alive! It seems right now that time has stopped… I begged and it has stopped for me.I don’t have the weakening desperation in my knees that’s driving all the veins into one tense nerve.

I’m almost embarrassed of this feeling, because it’s such a sweet cotton, that’s wrapped me in it’s arms and there’s no pain or urge for anything… I’m just am, in this second… I love this second! I’m not rushing to the next cloud of unsureness and I’m not running away either, it’s like something finally found a peaceful shell inside of my body, mind, soul and all of my senses are reborn.

Strange, I looked at myself and it was like someone else was looking at me; with no heavy judgement, but with strange acceptance of one’s reflection and it’s fountain of life. No past, no future, but with now — this moment frozen in time for me to feel at peace, with all of my shadows and the silence that’s been surrounding it all… And finally I feel relieved…

© Elena Levon, 2008

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DUST

You know what? I am a Queen! Yes, I was, I mean I am! Until someone will actually see that and treat me accordingly, I’ll continue being the creature that I am and I will lie to you and I’ll play my chess with your minds, thanks to all the teachers that I had — they polished my mind to perfection, but with so many flaws, yes the flaws!

What?! You’re still not in love with them?! Well then, try harder! The cloud of innocence is gone and sometimes the road slips away… I see too much, right through you, but what you see is only dust…

I shall not be seen as dust! I’ll rebel and scream! I pity you, all of you!!! Yes, I’ve lost my crown on my travels, but I’ll get it back and when I do — all you will ever be to me is dust.

© Elena Levon, 2007

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THE INFAMOUS

This is me — the way I am, not the way you want to see me. Why do we spend so much time and energy desperately trying to be accepted and adored by everybody? Lie because others can’t handle the truth, smile because they are not interested in your tears, it doesn’t arouse them as much.

I close my eyes, searching for that music in their hearts — it’s dull and empty. I don’t want to be sweet , cute or even likable! If you’re disgusted by my words or actions, tell me so and I’ll smile, because I’m disgusted by yours.

Now we found a mutual ground to stand on that is honest and with much more substance to it.

What color are my eyes?… Look closer… closer – they are colored with sin, a shadow of pain and a stoke of fear …

Do you see that? No?! Well, good then, I don’t want you to! Just keep seeing the color brown – less penetrating to your heart! I’m not afraid to feel and love, but then hate, while drinking the juice of sin on their bodies full of despair and exhaustion, shaking of the unbearable warmth and begging for more.

Do you live like me? No! You never will, because if you do, they’ll hate you for loving life that much and for allowing yourself to be you – disgusting and infamous you.

They are so good at covering up and laughing while sticking a knife in your back.

You know what? Spare the laughter! No need to waste it on me! Stab me already so I can go home and die, in my bed, alone, desperate for another gasp of air.

Who do I blame? — No one! I’m just being me — Proud, selfish, weak, unlikable and infamous me…

…What color are my eyes?

© Elena Levon, 2007

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YOU’RE MAD!

I have a question! Oh yes, I do! And many more to come — Why do we let ourselves be fooled?

Exactly, day by day, they feed us and we eat their bullshit with a fulfilled smile on our face. We flip the channels in our minds from war that’s real onto sports and weather that’s less important! – To whom? To you? To me?…

Or to that guy, who’s no longer here, who died and never coming back, but why? For what? He will never kiss his mother, his dad will never look at him with that loving smile and with tears of pride deep within his eyes.

That same guy, whose face or name I do not know, will never hear the sweet laughter of his unborn child. All those graves with crosses–which should be replaced with question marks– will be visited by lonely winds, aching hearts and desperate tears…

I don’t want their names to vanish from the slippery surface of our minds! 

You say  — “You’re mad!”  Perhaps, but I’d rather live only a moment in madness than be blind and deaf for eternity.

© Elena Levon, December 2005

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DARE TO WANT

I’ve wished for you! I saw you in my dreams so many, many times — was it a dream?! Well, of course it was! And yet, here you are in front of me in my bright reality and I can feel your loving breath, your lonely eyes and the crazy rhythm of your heart.

You are so close and yet so far away, but even so I dare to want! But wait, I can’t, I mean WE can’t! But can we dare to want? Do you have sins?… You say “too many!” — I’ll take them all, I’m not afraid to burn! We shared and whipped, we screamed and whispered in each others ear.

We’ve heard the lonely echo of each others hearts and yours is so fragile to the touch. I think you see that innocent, pure, carefree and almost angelic face within my soul. I did, I saw it all! I stood there naked in front of you — being shamelessly honest is such a relief!

Will they judge us? Oh, I’m sure they will, but even so, I dare to want! You didn’t ask and I refused to answer, you looked at me – I looked away, you were so silent and I was screaming out! You walked away – I didn’t stop you. I ran and you refused to hunt.

We’ve asked the same question with our eyes and both denied the answer!

In the middle of the night, when it’s so cold and dark, when my desperate scream cuts the lonely air in half — I dare to want…

… Do you?

© Elena Levon, March 2006

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MY SOUL IS NOT FOR SALE!

You sit there watching me — you’re so clean, yet incredibly dirty and irritating to my eyes — you’re in white shirt and expensive tie, which you think makes you so special and important. What r u doing here? What do u want?

I’m looking in your eyes – nothing — the only thing I can see is the lonely echo of your broken dreams, to which you are so desperately trying to hold on. I hate you so much right now and at the same time I feel sorry for you — the fact that every single day you walk on your pathetic thin and dull line, the idea of knowing that the next step is going to be the same as the last one is choking you.

With my eyes I ask you; – “So, to whom did u sell it? I bet u don’t even know the person that well. Is he or she as clean on the outside as you are? And I bet your nice suit, your big house, your warm pool (that u never use) is more than enough prize for it!?!”

…Oh!…where is your ring?! — Put it back on would you Mr.!

Are you ashamed that I’ll find out or you scared to death to face the truth?
I’m demanding — “I want my innocence back!” , forgive me, I meant my hand..” You scream out – “Can I buy your soul?!…Oh…I mean, may I buy you a drink?”

You know, we’re so alike and at the same time from two different worlds. I’m hurt too –don’t get me wrong — I too have the lonely, desperate sound in my heart, but I’d rather walk on the path of broken glass, fire and razors, which leads to greatness, then yours — secure, comfortable and “clean”.

..

…Tomorrow I’ll be here again and I’ll see another guy, actually strike that!

I’ll see only a blurry shadow of a guy, looking for his soul…

© Elena Levon 2006

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ALMOST

I’m almost dead and yet alive,
I almost told you everything,
I almost learned not to wait for you
And forgot how to loose you,
I almost learned how to laugh through tears,
And almost forgot my fears.
Almost silent again,
Someone almost forgave me my sins,
I’m in the dark, almost screaming,
Almost touched your warm lips.
It’s funny how we try to survive,
I’m almost dead and yet alive.

© Elena Levon , January 2005

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WINGS OF PEACE

Fly away, be free! Find peace, taste the air of freedom and warm us with the morning sun! Kiss me goodnight with the moonlight on my wet cheeks and when I’m falling, lend me one of your wings, so my soul won’t crash into pieces, that nobody wants anymore.

You will be flying amongst the strongest winds and swimming with the most powerful and brutal waves…

You won’t feel no pain, no sorrow,

No blood or tears,

No scars or fears.

When I’m lonely and scared, I ask you to lie down next to me and warm my cold hands with your loving breath.

If I give up, crashed by reality and forced onto the ground, shaking and bleeding — you just come and take me in your arms, healing me with your angelic whisper. It will echo through my whole body, which will heal my heart and I’ll be saved.

At times when I’m happy and everything is good, still walk with me — taste my laughter, and my happiness. When it’s time for me to go — I’ll go… Somewhere, beyond this time and my imagination, I’ll be given those wings of peace.

I promise we will fly again! Side by side, into freedom and happiness!

So when it’s time for me to go, I’ll go…

© Elena Levon 2004

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