“Behind The Mask”
“Behind The Mask”
Rage, fear, emptiness and yearning. Yearning for what might be, but never will.
Yearning to escape the lie and take off the mask.
To forget and disappear into our lust.
To feel, to learn, to forget and remember. The madness, the truth and the madness in truth.
Like a trapped wild beast, from one corner to the other, panting, raging, scratching and slowly dying with each kiss.
My solo swan song is tearing through sheets, clothes and air,
Running through darkness, with unforgiving shadows from my past, into despair.
Bewilderment and agony, hungrily smashed into our private ecstasy.
Private yet publicly laughed at, hidden, yet exposed to the core.
Sipping shame and devouring lust. Ashamed yet proud. Yes, shamelessly and fearlessly proud.
Proud of my wickedness and chaos. I’d rather die in ugly truth, than live chained to their lies.
Choices, chances, empty glances. Life is just an illusion? Yes, I know, it is…
But how do you travel from illusion into a dream? You, know, The Dream… Which road do you take?
I’d rather dream and never wake up, with eyes wide open or shut, while raising my cup full of blood.
What does Lucifer yearn for? Same things as me?
Through the drunken sleepless fog, I will try to remember and forget, forget that I have to wake up.
Forget that it’s only a dream, forget that none of this is real.
Succumbing to debauchery and raging against deceit. I invite you to my fearlessly naked Ball,
A man or a woman, come here and forget all that is wrong.
Forget your fears, let go of your pride and prejudice, which kills. Ravish me, burn with me, tango me, stare at me, scratch me and bruise me…
Don’t be afraid, remember – it’s only a dream…
But when you wake up, the truth might make you so ill, that it will drag you all the way up on a cross and kill.
I will cry for you and us, while driving the last nail into your heart. Don’t blame me,
Blame the dream and the yearning for it or me. Don’t be surprised… I told you; I’m driven by instincts.
Never by morals, sweet lies or gimmicks.. But by raw, primal, unattainable music within the dream.
You saw me without a mask, or maybe you just saw yet another one underneath the last…
The Ball is over, cut yourself away, slip on your mask, travel far,
Far away from me, dive back into the illusion and pretend that you’re free.
What do you yearn for, My Dear Mask? Same things as me?
I yearn for truth, for choking truth, within one moment.
I yearn to stand fearlessly naked, lost, vulnerable, with or without the hatred.
I yearn for our dream, in which you make love to my soul and take me far beyond the extreme.
I yearn to take off your Mask…
And for you, to just rip off mine
06/1/2014 © Elena Levon
The woman behind the mask …