“That Dress”
by Lena
Saint-Tropez
In my nomadic life, I have missed a lot of planes, trains and will probably miss my own wedding. (If anyone is courageous, patient, confident and crazy enough to marry a woman like myself, that is… sane people need not apply)
Somehow, Mr. Bond and I managed to mix up the train schedules from Spain to France. I’m only saying “Mr. Bond and I” cause I don’t want him to feel bad.. he takes the fifth, on this one.
Sneaky old lady with a cane in Barcelona, had absolutely no chance at getting a cab before me. Even though I was there first, grandma tried to snatch away the only taxi that would take us to the train station, just in time for our train.
The whole fiasco should have been filmed. It was hilarious. I didn’t say much, just ” oh no no no!! Don’t even think it!! ” and then thrown the look.. you know “the look”. You never want me to look at you that way.. She actually might still be there… stunned by what happened. She tried to steal a cab from the wrong chick at the worst time possible – about 15 minutes before my train was supposed to leave the platform…
We made the train. And were now on our way from Spain to South of France …
You know, I was actually disappointed with Nice.. too crowded, too expensive, beach is crap, especially comparing it to Nungwi beach in Zanzibar for 3 times the price. Oh, Russians are everywhere ! Hey, if I want to go to Russia, I’d buy a ticket home…
Did manage to eat somewhat ok food and swim topless. Probably the only one swimming topless..
a very sad state of affairs, my dear Nice…
However, if it wasn’t for Nice, I would have never found a dress, that makes every jaw drop in any room..
and if it wasn’t for the fact that Mr. Bond lost one of my “special sandals”, that is easy to wear for someone with Hyperhidrosis, then I would have never went shopping in the first place! Because I can not stand shopping… ( yes, gents, Mr. Bond is the luckiest dude alive… just ask him.. )
So here I am, strolling the streets of Nice, looking for comfortable sandals and see this stunning white dress on mannequin, that is sort of hidden. Asked to take it off, so I could try it. The dress was a bit too big.. so they gave me some kind of same color rope-like belt to go with it. The moment I put on that dress, all women in the store poured towards me with “oh my god, this is the most stunning dress we have ever seen!” .. It was the last dress, naturally. However on closer examination, discovered a hole and asked them to fix it. Meanwhile, all women in the store were lining up to get the dress, if I pass. In about 15 minutes it was done. The best 40$ I have spent in France…
Everyone from Monte Carlo Casino, Best Moscow clubs, to the best beach restaurant in all of Saint-Tropez were mine ..
But you know what? you can put a potato sack on me and I’ll make you cum… ( Modest, I know. )
Needless to say, that all Russian-Ukranian hookers were very much pissed off. When I walked into Monte Carlo Casino, in Monaco, their “next trick” had their cigars facing me.. I actually did mean cigars.. ( you guys have dirty minds! ) Although cigars quickly dropped when they saw that I wasn’t alone.
If I happen to bump into Prince Albert that night, his wife wouldn’t be as nice to let him talk to me one-on-one, like last time …
As it turned out, Mr. Bond had friends in Saint-Tropez, whom invited us to spend a day “doing” it the right way…
First it was brunch and some beach fun at Le Club 55 , the most prestigious place in Saint-Tropez… I kept looking for some hot topless blonde, while enjoying incredible food. Even at a place like this, where Naomi Campbell, is a regular, I was stopped by some hot chick on a way to the ladies room and asked where she can get “that dress”. My reply to her was “it was the last one there”. She even offered to pay double.
Was so exited to see almost naked supermodels, that I rushed through my food and couldn’t wait to see “the beach part” of this place.
Anyway, after a great brunch, Xavier, Mr. Bonds friend, invited us to move onto the sand and enjoy some Rosé. Xavier said ” well, the changing room is there”
“Changing room?” I thought to myself… “I don’t wear much at the beach, what changing room?”
I tied the turban from Morocco, around my waist and headed to the sand.
Gosh, am I disappointed with France .. (never thought I’d say that) no more topless swimming and only a “hush-hush” topless sunbathing once in a while… Women don’t stand up topless here at all!! They put on their thousand dollar bikini top and pose their way to the water… how pathetic! This is no different form bullshit “LA scene”, where it’s all just about see, be seen and blow meaningless air kisses at each other. Again, I was the only woman running to the water topless and actually enjoying myself… everyone else looked like they have a stick up their ass.
Next!..
Even though I heard this song for the first time in Luana’s car in Italy… “Blurred lines” will forever associate with Saint-Tropez for me.. because our French man, Xavier played it about 30 times from his balcony… “what rhymes with hug me?” … ” ummm well, let me think about it, I had too much champagne… oh, I know! my favorite word rhymes with it.! “
On a way to Xavier’s balcony overlooking Saint-Tropez, we stopped at Nikki Beach club.. where we crashed on lounges, drinking champagne and waiting for another friend from Switzerland to show up. I think he was from Switzerland, everything is a blur…
I was still however, very much optimistic to see at least one hot topless “St. Tropez blonde” .. “maybe I need another glass of champagne…” I thought to myself. They look better when you drink…
So then, after about 20 minutes, I see one. Exited, I almost yell, while pointing into the direction of the blonde by the pool… Guys responded with laughter and “You’re not drinking anymore, Ms. Levon! at least not until you get some food in you” We headed to Xavier’s place for some snack, shower and a change of clothes for dinner and club.
our gang
I changed into something black (shocker) and we all headed out to dinner. The serpentine-like road down made me so out of it, that I thought I’ll pass out at a dinner table. Anyway, getting up dancing to Gypsy Kings with some random chicks in a restaurant, fixed that right up. Next on our menu was one of the famous clubs…
Great party! “Blurred lines” were played another 7 times and now I finally was able to see some attractive models… but then again, who knows, it could be all that Rose… I made a decision to not drink anymore and just lost myself in a dance.
There was this, scruffy, ”don’t give a shit” sailor type of guy (that I usually like so much) who was actually with someone. He totally forgot that he was not alone. I could feel how he just STARED the whole time… tried to talk to one of the guys from my gang and get closer to our pack… but he saw that I wasn’t alone.. Mr. Bond’s reply to “How do you deal with her ?” is “I’m like a Hulk, I’m always jealous, but what, I’m going to be jealous of the whole world, all the time?! That’s stupid.”
The heat was getting to a boiling spot when “Sailor” turned he’s back towards his own gal and continued to drool. My gang decided to get me out of there before a fight broke out.. smart move, Mr. Bond, smart move…
I was actually the woman with the most clothes on in that place…
Can you imagine what would have happened if “That Guy” saw me in
“That Dress” ?! …
___________________________
The woman behind the dress …
That dress is amazing.
Love the line about people on the beach having a “stick up their ass”. What’s the fun of hitting the beach if you’re not ready to have a good time and show a little skin?
Reblogged this on My SCRUM Info and commented:
Beautiful Post!
Nice to read another story yours again! Beautiful pictures and about the dress.. It was made for you! 😉 You look gorgeous in it! Have a beautiful day!
Sounds like an epic adventure! 😀
Glad to read that neither you nor Mr Bond have wearied. Both educational and informative, this article really should be snapped up by TripAdvisor and become essential reading for the parents of prospective exchange students everywhere. EL Rules! 😀
))))) i love you!
Love this article! Unapologetic and honest. You wear the dress – it does not wear you. You are the beauty – not the dress!
Awesome!
Lovely dress indeed! very romantic which simply remember me of some gypsy world… 🙂 claudine
Yes, I get your vibe about Nice, still the seafood in the open air restaurants is good, and the Dr Wife enjoyed swimming in the Med, as she grew up swimming in the Black Sea I can see why she likes it when compared with the rough and tumble of my home surf. A good base of operations to go elsewhere in summary, though the illuminated pole sitting statues are interesting. For us onwards to Ezes, Aix in Provence, Arles and then Marseilles. Gotta say, I like Marseille better than Nice, she wears her seedy, violent working port heart with pride.
My regards to yourself and Mr Bond.
That dress !! does it come in Red? oh i forgot it’s the last one .. darn. I hate shopping , except when it comes to food 😉
i’m on a “SEE food diet .. ” let’s go eat! ; )
My motto 🙂 yes let’s go eat and be merry 🙂
Amazing piece. I’ve met so few women who are so un-apologetically sensual. Thank you for being so true to your self.
Stunning, amazing, absolutely you! Loved the dress! Thanks for sharing…
That dress is amazing on you!
Love how much you Love & Enjoy Life!
you have life, a true life 🙂
and it has me right back ..
“You can put a potato sack on me and I’ll make you cum,” ~ I believe that line alone makes this worthy of Pulitzer consideration.
oh, it would be an honor ))))
ps – i laughed so hard after reading your comment.. thank you.
Elena, it is SO good to read one of your stories again. How you LOVE life gives me the goosebumps! And that dress! OMG! What size are you? What I would give to wear that dress just FIVE minutes! I have never seen a sexier dress in all my life, and I have some years on me. Oh, …sigh… I wish.
I’m drooling. For youth. Ahhhh…..Enjoy while you have it, Elena. xxoo, Amy
this was a Large size .. way too big for me and i have to tie it pretty tight with a belt in order for it to stay on my body ) actually, maybe I should set up an auction for that dress, the highest bidder takes it home and the money I’ll donate to one of the orphanages, on my summer journey around South America. I learned to easily get rid of things that are not important in life… so it would be a pleasure that some gal would be rocking it and kids will also benefit.. how cool is that? …
Way cool, Lena! Your heart is so big, it brings tears to my eyes!!! Love, Amy
On Thursday, February 27, 2014, Live simply, travel lightly, love
sweetheart, i’ll be wearing dresses like that into my 6o’s ..
As well you should! As well should any woman for that matter! I take care of my body and in looking around, am amazed how many women let their bodies go. NOT ME! So yes I can very well wear a dress like that. I would have to find somewhere to wear it to. LOL (((HUGS)))
On Friday, February 28, 2014, Live simply, travel lightly, love passionately & don’t forget to breathe wrote:
> Lena commented: “sweetheart, i’ll be wearing dresses like that into my > 6o’s ..”
bravo !
Thank you! With age, comes the temptation to let the body go. Just stick with what you are doing, Lena! You look fab!!! Xxoo, Amy
You looked stunning in THAT dress and what a bargain!:)
Ok…so all those who commented are men. Coincidence? And those who say they always like to read your articles is like saying they read Playboy! Come on, guys, fess up!
So, I’ll be the first woman to tell you that you look gorgeous in that dress and isn’t it wonderful being a woman and able to wear a dress 🙂
PS. Articles ARE interesting!
thank you! it is incredible to be a woman! )
ps – think these are more short stories, that sometimes have R rating for language.. by the way, I LOVE playboy )
[…] “That Dress”. […]
Always read your pieces for the ‘articles’ ..wow:)
That dress looks spectacular and so does that beach at Le Club. We need to add that to the travel list. 🙂
Reblogged this on roslionel.
That was a great read. Thank you.
Way to take us all along for the ride, Elena. Mr. Bond is a lucky dude.
You’re still going!
Excelsior! ; )
[…] Swam topless in South of […]
Always amazing, always inspiring, always truthful, always good to read and good photos to look at. Always Elena!
You always make be smile…live on my friend!
Reblogged this on U.S. Constitutional Free Press.